Publication of ‘The Targeter,’ a Surreal Novella, by Alien Buddha Press, on July 14th

This is my new novella, originally published chapter by chapter here on my blog, but now you can gain access to all the chapters easily without searching my blog’s archives.

It will be released on July 14th on Amazon. It’s a quick read, only 111 pages, including the ‘about the author’ page.

It’s about a despairing 40-year-old English teacher in Taiwan who–due to his apocalyptic, potentially nuclear, WW3 predicament, in which a civil war in China has made his home a warzone–has given up on life. Feeling there’s no way out of his situation, he decides to get drunk on bourbon and stoned on pot, ecstasy, and ketamine. In his stoned stupor, he begins a long reverie of himself as a quasi-Buddha figure (‘the targeter’ is a pun on Tathāgata, and it reflects his wish ‘to hit the target,’ or not sin), a comparison of his own life events with the mythical biography of Siddartha Gautama (he calls himself Sid Arthur Gordimer). As the war draws closer and closer to him, his being under the influence has made him blithely indifferent to the fact that, wandering out in the streets where the gunfire and bombing are going on, he’s walking right into his own death.

I want to thank the publishers of Alien Buddha Press for putting my short book in print!

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Thirteen (Final Chapter)

Tesel, Lia, and their surviving comrades watched all the bodies of the slain pass through Gaya’s rectum and go outside her planetary body.

“It’s sad to see our fellow fighters go out that way,” Lia said, “yet it’s also gratifying to see Aisa and the rest of our enemies being shat out. That is truly fitting.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Tesel said. “Speaking of shit, the stink here is intolerable.”

They left the rectum and passed through a tunnel leading to Gaya’s vagina. They then heard voices from above.

Cecil,look!Gaya’seyesopenedabit!
Hey,you’reright,Lila!Theydid!Isshecomingoutofhercoma?
Maybe.Ihopeso.

“The gods are speaking again,” Tesel said.

“Let’s go out that way ahead,” Lia said. “Maybe we’ll be able to hear what they’re saying more clearly.”

The warriors went through the birth canal to the opening. As they emerged, they felt a huge wave of water washing all over them, soothing their wounds and healing them. Coming out of Gaya’s birth canal, the warriors felt as if they were now newborn babies, innocent, unspotted…pure.

Their energy and strength were all brought back to them. They crawled up either side, along Gaya’s labia, in the direction of her clitoral hood. Tesel’s hands reached up and held on to the clitoral glans.

“Well,” he said with pleasant surprise. “What do you know?”

“Amazing,” Lia said with a snort. “A man has actually found the clitoris.”

The warriors continued their climb upward. At the top, they marched through the tall grasses of Gaya’s pubic hair, then reached her belly.

They all looked up to the sky. Instead of air all around and above them, though, it was all water. Gaya’s body, the ground they were walking on, was like the bottom of the sea. The ‘sky’ was actually the surface of an ocean that went on forever in all the other directions.

“We’re breathing water,” Lia said. “We’re like fish.”

They realized that Gaya must have been floating in all of this water, for they saw the naked bodies of other giant men and women floating in this dark ocean, like planets in this, so to speak, underwater solar system.

They looked up high and saw two thin, long slits in the upper water. Inside these slits were light from a…room?…and what looked like parts of the faces of a man and woman looking down on Gaya. The man’s face looked a little like Tesel’s, the woman’s, a little like Lia’s.

“A god and a goddess, looking down at us!” Lia said.

“They look like giant versions of the two of us, Lia!” Tesel said.

“What are they saying?” she asked. “Let’s listen.”

Doctor, Doctor, come here! I think Gaya is coming out of her coma! What do you think?

Tesel and Lia now saw another man’s face through those slits. The earplugs of what seemed to be a stethoscope were in his ears.

Let me check her heartbeat. Yes, her eyes are opening slightly. This is a good sign, but we’ll have to wait and see. We don’t want to get our hopes up too high. We mustn’t rush things.

“Are the gods saying that our planet is healing?” Lia asked.

“It seems that way,” Tesel said. “I hope so. Let’s roam around Gaya’s body and see if she’s getting better.”

The surviving warriors continued walking up Gaya’s belly toward the rolling hills of her breasts. Her skin was generally pale, but it seemed to be getting its colour back. Similarly, though she seemed quite emaciated when they’d just emerged from her vaginal orifice, she seemed to be getting more and more flesh back on her body, returning to her original shapely figure.

They marched between the breasts and saw her head, the chin up front. They went over there and got a closer look at her face. Her eyes were almost completely shut, her hair was spread out like the branches of trees, and her skin was getting its colour back.

Her eyes opened a bit more, ever so slightly.

Some more light shone down from above. Tesel, Lia, and the others all looked up at those slits, which were both a little wider now. The fighters could see those three giants looking down on them with hopeful, teary eyes and broad, loving smiles.

“The gods seem happy to see our planet regaining her health,” Lia said, with tears of her own in her eyes.

“Yes,” Tesel said, smiling. “I think she’s going to be all right.”

THE END

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Twelve

Before Tesel was ready to lead his warriors into battle, he wanted to survey the entire fighting masses of Aisa’s men. Sure enough, as was predicted from the killing of Kappitta, it was as though the whole army of the enemy had lost its brain, or at least their control of their brains.

That giant worm had been their collective brain, and it was gone; so Aisa’s men were just haphazardly slashing their swords in the air, sometimes cutting–and even killing, occasionally–each other, and sometimes cutting into the tunnel walls, hurting an already terribly ailing Gaya. Tesel knew he had to act fast to stop the wounding of their beloved planet. But as directionless as Aisa’s army were, there was still one big problem for Tesel and his army.

There were still so many more of the enemy to fight.

Gujon was trying his best to conjure up images of dancing nude women to entice and distract Tesel’s men from the soon-to-be fight, but the magician was as unable to focus and give direction to his arts as the rest of the enemy were. As a result, the dancing nude ‘women’ were actually monstrosities with legs for arms and vice versa, heads for breasts and vice versa, and many other comically misplaced or incomplete body parts.

Tesel’s army laughed at the absurd spectacle.

“There’s no need for me to tell you all that this is just one of Gujon’s illusions, is there, men?” Tesel shouted.

“NO!!!” his men shouted back with more laughter.

“Still,” he said, “there are so many more of them than there are of us. I see what must be at least twenty men for each of ours. They fight aimlessly and wildly, but still tirelessly, and they’re amazingly quick. Many of us will still die.”

“If not all of us dying,” Fil muttered.

“Let’s just hope their slashing continues to kill enough of them so we can win,” Lia said.

“She’s right to hope for that, Fil,” Tesel said. “As hard as this will be, we have to keep trying. Gaya needs us, remember.”

Fil sneaked another swig of his drink. “Very well, then,” he said, then sighed. “Let’s do this.”

“Men!” Tesel shouted. “ATTACK!!!”

His army ran at Aisa’s, screaming with their swords held high.

The problem with the wild, chaotic flailing of the swords of Aisa’s men was that their movements were unpredictable for Tesel’s army. A lot of his fighters were surprised to receive slashes and stabbings from blades that seemed to fly from out of nowhere, because those swords were moving at what seemed lightning speed.

So while a lot of Aisa’s men fell quickly from the thrusts of the swords of Tesel’s fighters (as well as those of Aisa’s own aimless men), a lot of Tesel’s men fell early on in the fighting, too.

Fil ran over to where Gujon, also slicing his sword wildly in the air, was. He watched Gujon’s swiftly whipping blade like a hawk, looking for an opening to stab into. He found one, and thrust his sword in the magician’s left side, just under his rib cage. Gujon fell, and all those bizarre-looking, anatomically incorrect nude dancing women vanished.

“Good,” Fil said. “Now we don’t have their comical spectacle to distract us.”

He looked around for another high-ranking enemy to fight. Amid the sea of blood and clashing swords, he found Lew, Aisa’s second-in-command. Hungry for his enemy’s blood, Fil grinned and raised his sword.

“Lew!” he shouted at him. “It’s me, Fil! Follow my voice and fight me, you bastard!”

Lew rushed with a warrior’s yell in Fil’s direction. Fil watched his wildly swinging sword, careful to find the right time to parry it.

Lew came slashing down from high over his head, and Fil blocked his sword with a piercing metallic clang. Their swords were locked in that position, both of them using all of their strength trying to push in and overpower the other while staring hatefully in each other’s eyes.

Lia was close by, fighting Titos, another of Aisa’s top men, his battle strategist. Her eyes were locked on his sword, which flew about so quickly and wildly that it seemed almost invisible to her.

At one point, she saw a way in, swung her sword in a wide arc from right to left, and sliced through his throat just when he was about to hack off her left arm. Instead, he only cut a mark in it just below her shoulder, then he dropped his sword and clutched at his bloody throat with his other hand before falling.

Ignoring her pain, she turned to her left to see how Fil was doing, but she was too late: she heard him grunt in pain and cough out blood, with Lew’s sword stabbed all the way through his gut and out of his lower back. Her comrade fell to the ground, his last movement.

“No!!!” she screamed, and as Lew was pulling his sword out of Fil’s bloodied guts, she swung her sword down and sliced off Lew’s head. She looked with satisfaction as his head rolled along the floor to the bottom of Gaya’s rectal wall. “Goodbye, old friend,” she said with a choking voice as she looked at Fil’s lifeless body.

Just then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw another of Aisa’s men yelling and charging at her with his sword slashing maniacally in the air. Noting that his sword wasn’t about to come down just yet, she pushed out her sword so that when he’d come close enough, it would just run him straight through.

It did; he fell.

As Tesel was slashing and killing many of the enemy, his quickly darting eyes were also trying to survey the area to know how the progress of the battle was going. He noted that, while many of his own fighters had surely died, many more of Aisa’s men had fallen not only at the hands of those of Tesel, but also from their own aimless, thoughtless sword-swinging.

With fewer and fewer of the enemy to fight, he was able to spot Aisa himself among the bodies of the dead as well as those still fighting.

“Aisa!” he shouted. “It’s Tesel! Follow my voice, come and fight me, or be a coward!”

Aisa’s ears pricked at the calling of his name, found the location of the voice, in spite of his lunatic disorientation from the death of Kappitta, and charged in the direction of the voice, screaming so loudly as he ran there as to make Tesel’s shouting seem like mere whispers.

“Tesel!” Aisa screamed.

When he arrived, Aisa swung his sword in a wide, horizontal arc in an attempt to behead Tesel, who ducked just in time to avoid that. As Aisa was running past, Tesel lunged, trying to stab Aisa in the gut, but his foe also dodged him in time.

Tesel watched Aisa standing by, twirling his sword over and around his head like a madman, his wild eyes never making contact with Tesel’s, but Aisa then slowly began walking toward him as if he had an intuitive sense of where his enemy was. Tesel never took his eyes off of Aisa’s swinging sword, it moving almost too fast for the eyes to follow, though Tesel managed to follow it through perfect concentration.

The two adversaries took slow, careful steps toward each other. Tesel kept watching that twirling sword, looking for an opening that just wouldn’t appear.

“You’re a dead man, Tesel,” Aisa grunted. “I might not be able to see you directly or thrust or slash with precise aim, but I can swing my sword around so fast, and so tirelessly, that not only will you never get your sword past mine, but I’m also sure to cut you down sooner or later.”

“You always were too proud for your own good, Aisa,” Tesel said, then their swords started clashing with strikes coming again and again so fast that it sounded like a metallic rattling.

Their swords locked at one point, and as they held them there, trying to push ahead and overpower each other, Aisa’s wild eyes finally made contact with Tesel’s. The men exchanged malicious looks, staring each other down as they tried to push each other’s sword away.

“You’re going…to die, Tesel,” Aisa growled. “Enjoy your last…few moments…of life.”

Tesel grinned defiantly at those words.

They released swords and resumed their quick slashing. Aisa swiped a long red line on Tesel’s right arm. He let out a light groan of pain, then ignored the hurt and the blood.

Their swords repeatedly clashed again, with that quick rattle. Tesel swung over Aisa’s ducking head. Aisa slashed a shallow cut in Tesel’s left side. Again, he ignored the blood and the pain.

As for the rest of the fighters, all of Aisa’s men had finally fallen, some killed by Tesel’s men, others having accidentally killed each other as before. Lia and the surviving men now stood in a circle watching Tesel’s and Aisa’s duel.

Aisa swiped his sword in a wide, horizontal arc, and Tesel jumped back, but not far enough. He got a slash across his chest; fortunately, it wasn’t so deep that it would kill him, but the pain caused him to scream out loud. He fell back for a second.

“He’s dead at last!” Aisa shouted with a grin. “Now, to finish off the rest of them!”

He saw the circle of Tesel’s surviving army, then saw Lia. He ran at her with his sword flailing in all directions.

“Time for you to die, bitch!” he shouted.

She raised her sword to get ready, but didn’t need to. Tesel came at Aisa from behind and ran his sword through Aisa’s guts.

He shook for several seconds and looked down in shock at the tip of Tesel’s sword pushing out of his bloody belly. Then he looked back at his killer.

“I told you: you’re too proud for your own good, Aisa,” Tesel said, then Aisa fell to the ground.

The survivors were too exhausted to shout a hurrah of victory. They just heaved sighs of relief that it was finally all over and dropped to the ground, in desperate need of rest and bandaged wounds.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Eleven

“Attack!” Tesel shouted.

All the soldiers behind him, Lia, and Fil rushed at the monster, yelling in a mad frenzy with their swords held high. Especially wild in their racing at Kappitta were those men who’d contemplated deserting, so eager were they to redeem themselves and to be purged of their former selfish thoughts and shame.

…and all of these were the first to be sucked, by a powerful inhalation, into the giant worm’s mouth.

As they were sucked in screaming, the others were able to get past the mouth and stand on either side of Kappitta’s long, snaky body. They immediately began stabbing their swords into its sides, spraying its blood all over themselves and making it wail deafeningly in pain.

The men sucked inside weren’t dead just yet: they were frantically jabbing their swords into the beast’s insides, trying to make as many internal stab wounds as possible in, they hoped, its vital organs before its enzymes fried and melted their bodies. The fighters outside were heartened at the sight of those internal sword pokes bulging out, inspiring their own external sword lunges to be all the more furious. They tried their best not to let their lowered spirits affect that vigorous thrusting when they no longer saw those internal sword bulges.

Many of these fighters, however, had their spirits far more than lowered when Kappitta swung its serpentine length to crush them against the tunnel walls.

“Lia! Fil!” Tesel shouted. “Let’s try climbing up on top of its head! We can try stabbing at its eyes and its brain! Come, let’s hurry up there!”

The surviving soldiers stabbed more aggressively into the sides of the giant worm to distract it from Tesel, Lia, and Fil climbing up its head. Once on top, the three of them started stabbing–Lia and Fil reaching for each of its eyes, and Tesel searching for Kappitta’s brain with his sword.

The monster tried bucking the three of them, but with little success: they just bounced on top without falling off, causing mere brief interruptions of their stabbing. Kappitta tried crushing the three against the ceiling of the tunnel, too, but it was too high; no raising of its head could get high enough.

One of the fighters on the sides saw the height of the ceiling and what the three were doing. She got an idea.

“Hey!” she shouted out to those near her. “Let’s do what our leaders did! Let’s climb on top. Kappitta can’t raise its body high enough to crush us against the tunnel’s ceiling! Let’s go! The others should follow!”

She and those who heard her immediately started their climb. The worm swung its body and crushed several fighters against the tunnel wall, but it was the wall opposite that of the side where the other climbers were, so most of them got to the top.

One of them, however, fell off, and when lying on the floor Kappitta rolled on top of her and crushed her. The other climbers were on top of the worm by that time, and they began stabbing it. Its blood was spraying everywhere, and its wails hurt its enemies’ ears.

Again, Kappitta tried to buck those on top of it. Tesel, Lia, and Fil managed to stay on top by keeping their stabbed swords deep inside of its body and hanging on tight to the hilts; most of the others who’d just climbed on stayed where they were, too, but two of them fell off. The worm twisted its body, rolled on the pair, and killed them.

Those fighters still on the ground and stabbing Kappitta in its sides were growing tired, but tried to ignore their waning energy and kept stabbing and slicing…though slower. The worm swung the middle of its body at some of them, crushing them against the tunnel wall. It was losing strength, too, and moving slower.

When that swing of its body came, one of the men closer to its head dodged out of the way, but came up to its mouth. It gave a strong inhalation and sucked him in screaming. He’d dropped his sword, so he couldn’t even stab inside as his body went struggling inside, punching and kicking…until the bulges in its body from his punches and kicks were no more.

Kappitta felt a new surge of energy, thanks to this latest snack, and it bucked those on top again, causing one of those on its back to fall off. It rolled its body and crushed him on the floor, while also smashing some of the men on the side against the wall and killing them, too.

A few men on the sides saw those on the top, and decided to climb up, too; though as they started their climb, the worm swung its body again, crushing them against the wall.

Lia and Fil were still reaching for the eyes, but they were too far out of reach, especially after the bucking and swinging had knocked them further back down the head.

Lia, however, finally managed to crawl forward far enough. She gave a forceful lunge and stabbed Kappitta’s right eye. The monster let out an ear-splitting wail, then bucked hard. She fell off, and landed right in front of that huge mouth.

She jumped to the side just before it inhaled, but she got pulled in by her feet, just enough for it to close its lips around her lower legs. She screamed, then hacked at its lips to free herself. They hugged her legs tightly, hurting them.

Fil stabbed his sword into its other eye, blinding it completely. It wailed again, letting Lia go. She scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could, in spite of her legs’ soreness, and tried to run away from the mouth, but it inhaled again, this time sucking her whole body inside.

…and at just that point, Tesel stabbed his sword all the way into its head, piercing its grapefruit-sized brain and making the animal slump on the floor, lifeless.

They could hear Lia screaming just behind the lips. The stabs of her sword from inside were poking holes through the lips.

The survivors from the sides rushed over to help her. Tesel and Fil got down from the head.

“Hurry up and cut her out!” Tesel shouted. “Before any enzymes flow out and kill her!”

All the men hacked with their swords at the lips, as she continued to do from inside, until she could get out.

…and she came out, trembling all over, soaked in slimy worm saliva.

Some fighters came over with cloths and rags to wipe her dry. As soon as they touched her, though, she started screaming and flailing her sword wildly. A woman fighter then approached her with her arms out, ready to hug her, and she calmed down a bit.

“It’s OK, it’s OK,” she said to Lia as she put her arms around her. “Kappitta is dead. You’re safe. It’s all over.” Lia sobbed a bit.

Tesel and Fil looked back at all of the remaining fighters, then at all those crushed on the tunnel walls and floor.

“How many do you think we lost?” Fil asked Tesel.

“At least half of those we had before this fight,” Tesel said, frowning. “Aisa’s army will be directionless in their fighting when we confront them, but they’ll surely have well over twice as many warriors as we have.”

“We’ll have to hope that the wild swinging of their swords will result in them cutting down a large number of their own,” Fil said.

“Perhaps, but that wild, directionless swinging of swords will also cut into much of Gaya’s body, whether intended or not,” Tesel said. “For that reason, we must hurry down there.”

The soldiers marched double time again, passing along the seemingly endless length of Kappitta’s corpse, then through the stomach chamber…so dismayingly empty of food…and into the filthy, reeking tunnels of the intestines, where they could faintly hear the wild clanging of swords, surely those of Aisa’s men.

“Oh, by the gods,” Fil said as he held his nose. “I don’t know which to dread more–Aisa’s men, or this smell!”

As they were approaching the rectal area with even more reluctance (and this reluctance says nothing of the upcoming fight!), they heard voices from the gods above again:

Lila,didyouhearwhathappenedtoAsa?
No,Phil.Whathappened?
Cecilgotintoanastyfightwithhim,andevenstabbedhim!Asa’sdead.
Oh,myGod!HasCecilbeencharged?
No,itwasself-defence.Asahadtheknifefirst.He’soutofthepicture,though,forgood.
Really,Phil?
Yeah,Cecil’stakingoverproductionofourfilms,andweknowhe’lltreatusallmuchbetter.
That’sgoodnews.IfonlywecouldgetsomegoodnewsforGaya.

These words, in a way inexplicable to the troops, who still couldn’t make out the unclear language, gave them some courage…which they were going to need, right at that time.

For in the rectum, Aisa’s chaotically flailing, massive army was right there, ready to fight.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Ten

As Tesel and the other warriors went down Gaya’s head and toward her neck, they remained vigilant of any possible sudden emergence of Aisa’s army. Their foe could have been anywhere in Gaya’s body by now, since so much time had gone by from the last time they’d fought them.

Despite Lia’s words that they all had to fight on the way they always did, and how those words brought back Fil’s resolve, a number of the men marching behind still felt discouraged and doubtful of success against Kappitta and Aisa. Some felt that a quick death would have been better than enduring those all too formidable foes.

Now that they were past Gaya’s neck and approaching her chest, most of the troops were careful this time not to go down the tunnels that led to the lungs; three of the men, however, ran down a detour to one of them.

“Wait!” Fil shouted as he saw them suddenly making a dash toward an entry to a lung. “Where do you think you’re going?”

He received no reply. The three men just kept running.

“Stop them!” Fil shouted. “Those cowards are deserting us!”

He and a few other fighters ran down that tunnel after them. The deserters came to the windy opening leading into one of the lung chambers. They all jumped in, screaming as they were being blown down to the floor.

“Stop!” Fil shouted to the fighters behind him. “Don’t get too close to the opening, or you might get sucked in by Gaya’s breaths. Let the deserters go. They’re unworthy of us!

He shouted that last point loud enough so the deserters would hear him. As he and his men walked back down the tunnel to rejoin the others, they heard the screams and grunts of pain of the deserters as they flew up and down the lung chamber, crashing against the ceiling and floor of it again and again until their injuries and broken bones were so many that they died of them.

Fil and his followers reached the others. He pulled out his sword and pointed it at them angrily.

“If any of you wish to desert, as those three cowards did, just come to me, and my sword will make your deaths far slower and more painful than Kappitta or Aisa’s men could ever do!” he shouted.

There was a moment of silence as those others who, like the three just then, had considered deserting, decided with shame in their hearts to carry on with the mission after all. They all resumed their march downwards.

“It’s obvious that we need to visit Gaya’s heart again,” Lia said. “The surge of love for her has faded somewhat.”

“Agreed,” Tesel said, then shouted behind them, “We’ll make another stop at Gaya’s heart, troops, to boost our resolve and love for her!”

They continued on their way to her heart. They knew they were close when those marching in front saw a faint red glow. As they continued toward it, they imagined that the glow would get brighter.

It didn’t.

The pulse was even slower than it had been the last time, too.

They were all standing right in front of the heart now, seeing that glow as every bit as dim as it had looked farther back down the tunnel, and the heartbeat, if anything, was even slower now.

“Oh, no,” Lia said, tears coming to her eyes. “This can’t be. This is too much.”

“If those three deserters could see this now, they’d be so ashamed of themselves for abandoning us,” Fil said, choking back sobs.

“How many times do you all need to be reminded?” Tesel shouted back to the dwindling members of his army. “Gaya is dying. If she dies, we all die. Do you want to die having given up, as those three did, or do you want to die fighting?”

The troops behind, as teary-eyed as Lia, shouted, “Fighting!”

Those who’d considered deserting were now shaking with shame over having even contemplated giving up.

That heart looked so weak, so dim in its light…it was so slow in its pulse, it looked as if it would die any second, right then and there.

“We not only must fight and defeat Kappitta and Aisa, we must do so now!” Tesel shouted. “We can delay no longer. March now, double time!”

They immediately started a long jog down from the heart to the stomach. Their eyes looked everywhere for a possible ambush from Aisa’s men. The tunnels were so shrouded in shadows that the enemy could have easily been ensconced anywhere in them.

As they jogged on, they heard more voices from the heavens above. Urgency demanded, though, that they not stop to listen. They wouldn’t have understood the fast-flying words anyway, but they could still know the feelings given out. This is what they heard:

I’msopissedoffatAsarightnow.Allhecaresaboutisthemoneyhe’slosingfromGaya’snotsuckingdick.
He’sabusinessman,Lila.Whatdoyouexpect?
HecouldatleastappreciateGayaforwhosheis,Phil!Ihopehispornbusinessdoesdie!
Ifhisbusinesdies,we’llallbeoutofwork,Lila.
We’llallbefree!

The troops kept marching, feeling a vague sense of inspiration from what otherwise sounded to them like a vague flurry of words.

They rounded another corner in the tunnel and heard munching sounds farther off.

“Halt!” Tesel shouted. The men did. “Listen!” he whispered.

Those munching sounds were much clearer now.

“Kappitta,” Lia whispered.

“Yes,” Tesel said in a low voice. “This is it. Time to kill the giant worm, or be killed by it.”

Everyone, even the three leaders, was shaking all over, many of them feeling nauseous. Fil took a secret swig from his cup of wine to calm his nerves.

They all knew that they couldn’t stop now, though. They couldn’t turn back.

“Let’s move in as quietly as we can,” Tesel said softly.

They all crept forward until they saw Kappitta.

The worm was now almost twice the size it had been the last time they faced it.

“It’s done a lot of eating since last time, hasn’t it?” Fil asked in a shaky voice.

“While our army is fewer in number this time,” Lia said no less tremulously.

The gargantuan worm was now looking down at them with hungry eyes. Its gaping maw of a mouth seemed to be smiling at all the food before it.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Nine

The warriors, continuing their march through a tunnel on the way to Gaya’s brain, came to a point that was level with her nose and ears. They heard a whispering female voice.

“Welcome,” the voice said.

“One of the gods from above?” Lia asked Tesel.

“I don’t think so,” he said. “It’s much too close to us.”

“Gaya’s voice again?” Fil asked.

“Probably,” Tesel said. “Let’s listen for more.”

“Your marching is so noisy,” the voice said. “It’s disturbing my sleep. Try to move more quietly.”

“Forgive us, Gaya,” Lia said gently. She motioned to the troops behind her to march softer.

“You all smell…of blood…and mud,” the voice said.

“Oh, that’s definitely Gaya’s voice,” Fil said. “Only she would be close enough to smell our stench.”

Soon, all the warriors came up to be level with Gaya’s eyes. Though closed to the world outside, they were open to see Tesel’s army.

“You all look so tired, so dirty, and so beaten from all of your struggles,” the voice whispered.

“We struggle, tire, and hurt for you, Gaya,” Lia said. “We do this all out of love for you.”

“Now, tell us how to defeat Aisa’s army,” Tesel said, “and tell us what to do about Kappitta, if the giant worm is not to be slain.”

“Help us to be victorious,” Fil said, “if our suffering and deaths are not to be in vain.”

“Continue up to my brain,” the voice said, “If you are to receive the answers to your questions.”

The fighters continued their march up to the brain.

As they approached it, they sensed a soothing warmth emanating from it. That feeling made them all want to get over there faster, but Tesel warned them not to do anything to disturb Gaya’s needed rest.

Finally, the tunnel they were marching through rounded a bend, and they all could see the brain from a distance. It glowed an almost blinding white light. They all had to cover their eyes with their hands as they came closer.

That warmth, like a massage vibrating throughout the body of each and every soldier, buzzing from head to toe, was making them all want to run up to the brain. But again, Tesel ordered them not to march any faster.

The light, however blinding to the fighters’ vision, was paradoxically illuminating to their minds. It spoke to them in ways that words couldn’t. The closer they got to the brain, the more that light ‘spoke’ to them.

The warriors, all in a mesmerized state, said out loud all the wisdom and insight that the light of the brain was shining on them.

“How this war ends,” Tesel said in the monotone voice of one in a trance, “will depend greatly on where and when we confront Aisa’s army.”

“Before we face Kappitta,” Fil said in the same, hypnotized monotone, “or after.”

“If we face Aisa first,” Lia said, “we must resist all attempts made by his men to entice us with sex and the female body.”

“His magician, Gujon, will hit us with images of dancing naked women far more seductive and distracting than before,” Tesel said.

“We must be strong,” Fil said, “and resist the urge to have these mirages of women, lest we die.”

“We can resist lust with love,” Lia said. “We must recall what the heart taught us.”

“The heart taught us to love Gaya,” Tesel said.

“It taught us to love her mind and her heart,” Lia said, “not to lust after her body, but to seek to save it.”

“Compassion,” Fil said. “Not carnal passion.”

“We already know we must resist the dancing girls, though,” Tesel said, coming out of his trance. “We were tempted by them before. Our encounter with Gaya’s heart, moreover, should strengthen us if we meet Aisa before the worm; but what is the secret to defeating them all?”

There was a moment of silence.

They heard Gaya’s whispering voice again: “Kill worm…kill will…”

“Does that mean, if we kill Kappitta, that we’ll kill our own willpower, and we won’t be able to defeat Aisa’s army?” Tesel asked. “Must we refrain from killing the worm?”

Then they heard the voice of hypnotized Lia telling them the brain’s counsel: “Kill the worm, and kill the will…of Aisa’s men.”

“If Kappitta is dead,” Fil droned in the same mesmeric state, “Aisa’s men will fight with no direction, no purpose, no aim. They’ll be mere automatons, chaotically fighting as if without brains, for the worm is their brain.”

“That’s it!” Tesel said. “I knew it! We must kill the worm. In fact, killing the worm is key to winning the war!”

The others came out of their trance.

“But killing the worm will be almost impossible,” Fil said. “Even with our improved skills as fighters, even with our strong, loving, determined hearts. The last time we faced Kappitta, we barely fended it off, barely escaped with our lives. A number of us died. If we were to try to fight Kappitta to the end, there’s a slim chance, at best, of winning. If it isn’t all of us who die, surely the great majority of us will.”

“And that small number of our survivors will still have to face a huge army,” Tesel admitted. “An army of randomly slashing fighters, but still a huge number of men. Surely their wild, aimless strokes of the sword will be lucky enough to kill our few surviving fighters. Then they’ll continue to slash at Gaya until she’s dead.”

There was another moment of silence, a despairing one.

Then they heard voices from up above:

Anyprogresssincelasttime,Lila?
No,Cecil.Shehasn’tevengrabbedmyfinger,evenafterItellhertograbit.
Trynottoworry.I’msureshe’llpullthrough.
Iwannabelievethat,Phil,Ireallydo,butit’ssohard.
Don’tcry,Lila.Givehertime.

“I wish I could understand what the gods are saying,” Lia said. “Are they encouraging us? Are they telling us a secret to killing the worm? All I can sense is their sadness and despair, like ours.”

“I know,” Tesel said. “What we must do is hard, but we can’t not do it.”

“How are we going to kill Kappitta, and still have enough fighters left to take on Aisa’s army, as disorganized as they’ll become without the worm’s guidance?” Fil asked.

“I don’t know,” Tesel said, “but we must try.”

“We might confront Aisa’s army before we get to the worm,” Fil said. “That’ll mean fighting them when they’re still sharp and focused. They could have moved up to Gaya’s chest area by now, while Kappitta’s still eating in her guts. What can we do?”

“We’ll do what we’ve always done, Fil!” Lia said. “We’ll fight! We’ll fight because we love Gaya, and we want her to live, even if we don’t survive. Have you forgotten the lessons we learned from her heart? Have you, Fil?”

He looked down at his feet in shame at his defeatism. “No,” he said.

“Then let’s get moving!” Tesel said. “Whichever we confront first, we must fight them all, if Gaya is to live!”

They started their march back down her body.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Eight

After a long march up Gaya’s arms, Tesel’s group and the one led by Lia and Fil met between the shoulders. They found a tunnel up the neck that was behind the windpipe, so they were able to avoid those powerful winds that had killed a number of their warriors in the lung chambers.

Once all of them were level with Gaya’s mouth, they began to hear faint, whispering voices.

“Are the gods and angels speaking to us again?” Fil asked.

“I don’t think it’s’ them,” Lia said. “These voices sound different, and much too close to be from heaven.”

“Let’s listen,” Tesel said. “This could be important.”

“Kill…worm…kill…will,” the voice whispered, over and over.

“Can you understand that?” Lia asked Tesel.

“Unlike when the gods speak their indecipherable babble, I can make out these words…Gaya’s words,” Tesel said. “But how do we interpret the meaning of, ‘Kill worm, kill will?'”

“We know we have to kill the worm,” Fil said. “That’s obvious.”

“We’ll be facing Kappitta on our way back to face Aisa’s army,” Tesel said. “It will probably still be in the stomach and intestinal areas, because that’s where it gets its food. So surely we’ll kill it first, before we face Aisa’s men.”

“But what does ‘kill will’ mean?” Lia asked. “Does it mean that killing Kappitta will destroy our will to carry on and defeat Aisa’s army?”

“That hardly makes sense,” Tesel said.

“Yet, it rather sounds like that’s what Gaya meant,” Fil said.

“Is this the wisdom that Gaya’s brain has for us to defeat Aisa’s army?” Lia asked. “That we have to let Kappitta live?

“That doesn’t make any sense at all,” Tesel said. “Kappitta has only been bad for Gaya. It must be killed. Besides, it will be in our way before we get to Aisa. We must at least confront it and fight it.”

“So shall we fight it, but not kill it?” Fil asked.

“Let’s continue up to the brain and find out for sure,” Tesel said. “Let’s not jump to any hasty conclusions.”

“Very well, then, troops!” Lia shouted to all the warriors behind her. “Let’s continue up to Gaya’s brain!”

They marched on up.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Seven

Finally, Tesel’s men reached Gaya’s right hand, and the group of fighters led by Lia and Fil reached the left hand. The tunnels of Gaya’s arms opened out into the spacious chambers of her hands, and all the warriors could fit into each chamber with ease.

As they filed in, they felt a presence enter their bodies like air entering the lungs. This ‘air’ seemed to be their trainers of newer and better fighting skills, for they immediately found themselves moving with better grace.

The presence felt as if it were flowing through them…and making them flow everywhere they went. Swordsmen moved their swords in graceful arcs, almost like dancers. Spears were thrown in similarly flowing arcs, always landing exactly where intended. Arrows were shot with the same, flawless marksmanship.

The next thing to improve was their speed. They practiced drawing out and swinging their swords, and they were amazed at how lightning-fast they’d become in so short a time.

“This is incredible!” Tesel said of his own movements, as well as those of the other fighters he was watching.

“I feel as though I can take on all of Aisa’s army all by myself!” Lia shouted with pride as she swung her sword so deftly.

“So do I,” said another female fighter, doing the same faultless cutting of the air with her sword.

“This is so miraculous,” Fil said, with his sword swaying so poetically and swiftly, “that I need to put this improvement of mine to a test.” He took out his cup of wine, and instead of just sneaking a swig for fear of Tesel catching him, he now gulped it all down openly, without inhibition.

Then, once the cup was empty, he waited a moment or two to feel the buzz. He sheathed his sword as he waited.

Now, feeling nice and tipsy, he resumed his practice. He pulled his sword out of its sheath; as quick as a flash, it came out with perfect smoothness, with a screech of the metal blade. Then he moved about, with it slicing in the air as swiftly and adeptly as before. His wine buzz was in no way slowing him down or making him clumsy. It was as if he were completely sober.

“I cannot believe it!” he said with a grin. “I want to take on Kappitta all alone!”

Indeed, all the warriors were letting out triumphant shouts as they continued dancing with their swirling swords, tossing their spears with calculating accuracy, and firing arrows to hit what seemed microscopic targets.

“This is joyous news!” Tesel shouted, loud enough to be heard also in the other hand. “We now have the heart to defeat our enemies with resolve and determination. We have the skill to hit them fast and with precision. Now, there is only one more thing we need to ensure victory: insight from Gaya’s brain to know the secret of Aisa’s power. What weakness, in his army and in Kappitta, must we exploit to defeat them? For this knowledge, we must reunite at her shoulders, and march up to her head. Onwards and upwards!”

They all turned around and began their march out of the chambers of Gaya’s hands; but after only a few steps of each pair of feet, they noticed a slight trembling. Was it another earthquake? They looked back and saw slight movements in one or two of the fingers.

Then they heard a female voice from above:

MyGod!HerfingersclosedaroundmineafterIaskedhertodoso!
Whatwasthat,Lila?
Phil,Iwhisperedtohertograbmyfingersasmyhandtouchedhers,andshedid!Shecouldbebeginningtocomeoutofhercoma!
Maybe.It’sagoodsign,butlet’snotgetourhopesuptoohigh.
Yeah,wedon’twannasetourselvesupfordisappointment.Still,it’sexciting!

Not knowing a word of what was said by the god and goddess, but still encouraged by the feeling they were getting from the two above, the warriors continued their march out of the chambers of Gaya’s hands and back up her arms to her shoulders.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Six

The separate groups reached Gaya’s shoulders and began their descent along her arms. Anticipation was high as they all wondered what new fighting skills they were to learn when they were in the chambers of her hands.

They all stopped about midway along the tunnels of her upper arms when they heard two male voices from above:

SothatisthegreatandfamousGayaWeld,pornstarextraordinaire?
Yes,itis,andshe’sallyoursforanhourfortwohundredbucks
Hereyouare,buddy
Thankyou,andherearetherules.Nohittingher,nobiting,andnoscratching.Shecan’thaveamarkonher,anywhereonthatbeautifulbody,’causeifthereis,anursewho’smoreofagirlscoutthanI’lleverbeaboyscoutnursewilltelleveryoneandwe’llbothbeinshit.Here,letmegiveyousomething.
Lube?
Yeah,incaseshe’sdry.Soaslongasyouremembertherules–don’thurtheratall–havefun.I’llbebackinanhour.
OK.

The troops still didn’t have the slightest clue about what was said about Gaya by the two gods, but they all had an instinct that told them it wasn’t anything good.

“I have a feeling that the gods are about to punish us, for some reason,” Tesel said with a frown. “I don’t know why, but I just have that feeling.”

The soldiers soon found that their instincts were correct, for they felt a few shakes, like the beginning of an earthquake. Then the shakes became regular, even rhythmic.

Back and forth, and back and forth, everything around the troops shook…and they were forceful, violent shakes, throwing the fighters in the air and making them all crash on the floor, only to be thrown again, back in the opposite direction, and forward again. Back and forth.

The thrusts forward were particularly violent, tossing the fighters further ahead than the being thrown back, so hitting the ground when going forward was harder than when thrown back. Fighters often fell on the backs of those in front of them when going forward, and when they were thrown back, they fell on the chests and bellies of those behind them.

In between this flying back and forth, Tesel, Lia, and Fil tried to give commands to cope with the problem.

“Can we try…Oh!…to grab onto anything…Ah!…the walls…Ooh!…the ground…Unh!…the ceiling!” Lia asked.

“Let’s try it…Ah!” Fil shouted.

The soldiers tried to grab onto the sides of the tunnels, but generally couldn’t. They just grabbed onto other soldiers, irritating each other in the process.

The shaking back and forth was getting faster and faster, making even fragments of conversation impossible.

Tesel wanted to tell his men to try to huddle up side by side, with men on the extreme left and right squeezed so tightly against the walls of the tunnel that the men would be stuck, and therefore, the shakes wouldn’t throw them anymore. He couldn’t, however, communicate the idea to his troops because the gaps in between the shakes back and forth had become far too brief to get a word in. All anyone could do was put up with the accelerated shaking, and hope it would end soon.

After another few minutes of the ordeal, the shaking suddenly stopped.

All the warriors just lay there on the ground for several minutes, alert, eyes wide open, waiting for the next shake and hoping it would never happen. Their hearts were pounding the whole time, they were sore all over, and they were breathing heavily.

During that time, they heard a few loud moans from high above.

“It seems to be over,” Tesel said, then he got up.

All the warriors finally rose to their feet. They rubbed themselves everywhere they were sore.

“Do you think the gods were angry with us?” Lia asked Fil.

“I don’t know what we could have done to anger them,” he said, “but they sure fucked us over.”

“That seems true, in too literal a sense for comfort,” she said. “If anything good came of that, at least we’re a bit closer to our destination.”

“That slight bend in the tunnel must be the elbow,” Tesel said to his men. “We’ll soon reach Gaya’s hands. Let’s carry on.”

They all continued down the arms.

‘Gaya,’ a Surreal Adventure–Chapter Five

The half of the group led by Tesel went up in the direction of the right shoulder, and the half led by Lia and Fil went up in the direction of the left one. It was dark, and none of the warriors really knew their way around, so it was hard for them to choose which tunnels were the best to go through.

As soon as all of them went through their chosen left and right entrances in the chest area, they felt a wind sucking them all up, deep into the middle of the large chambers they’d entered. Yelling and screaming as they all flew up in the spacious chambers, they smacked into the inside upper walls, then fell to the floors all around the entrances they’d just come up in.

“We went…the wrong way,” Fil said in gasps to Lia. “We’re in…the lungs.” He was rubbing his left arm, on which he hit the floor.

“I know,” Lia said, rubbing her right leg. “We never learn these things ’til it’s too late.”

No one had any more time to rub his or her hurt body parts, for another wind sucked them up to the ceilings of the lungs, against which their bodies smashed. Shouts of pain echoed all over the chambers.

They tried to stick their fingers into the gluey ceilings, to keep from being blown down again, but it was no use. Gaya’s next inhalation, a deep and powerful one, pulled them all off the ceiling and threw them down to the floor again. Some of the troops’ bones were fractured.

As he winced at the sounds of groans of pain all around him, Tesel was looking all over the ceiling to find the upper exit. As soon as he found the small black hole, he pointed at it.

“Everyone!” he shouted. “Try to get over there, to that hole in the ceiling, and crawl out of it!”

He shouted loud enough for those in the other lung to hear; Lia and FIl looked for and quickly found their upper escape hole.

“There it is!” Lia shouted “Try to get to i…”

Suddenly, the next exhalation carried everyone screaming up to the ceiling again. More screams of pain were heard when their bodies smacked against it. Those closest to the escape hole scrambled over to it as fast as they could before Gaya’s next inhalation, which was softer.

Those right by the escape holes–Tesel, Lia, Fil, and several others–clung to the sticky ceilings as tight as they could, so the breath wouldn’t blow them to the floors. Many others fell, some screaming, others already dead from their combined injuries.

The ones still at the top managed to crawl out the escape holes in time before the next breath came. After it came, and some of the warriors had clearly flown up closer to the escape holes, Tesel, Lia, and Fil reached into the chambers to pull out some of the men on the ceilings.

After they were pulled out, another inhalation pushed most of the rest of them down again, while others had dug their fingers deep enough into the ceilings to be able to withstand the wind and stay there. Between the breaths, these troops crawled out the escape holes. The next exhalation brought up the ones from the bottom; Lia frowned to see those coming up that were clearly corpses.

At the end of that exhalation, the dead bodies fell, while the survivors clung to the ceilings and struggled to get to the escape holes in time. Tesel, Lia, Fil, and some of the others who’d already escaped hurried to pull as many of the survivors out as they could.

The next inhalation came, and a few of the warriors trying to get out screamed as they were blown down to the floor again. The survivors who’d escaped watched and waited for the next breath to bring the remaining men back up. The exhalation came, but all the bodies that came up this time were passive and lifeless; none tried to grab on to the ceilings. When the breath ended, they all fell back down silently.

“There’s nothing we can do for them,” Tesel said. “Let’s carry on in our separate groups to the shoulders.”

“Come on, troops, let’s go,” Fil shouted out to his and Lia’s group. But before anyone took any steps, voices from above were heard again:

OhPhilI’msogladyoucametoseeher!
Howisshe?Shedoesn’tlooktoogood,Lila.
Herbreathingisgettingweaker,Ithink.IsometimesputmyhandoverhermouthandfeelbreathingbutthenIdoitagainlaterandherbreathingisweaker.Oh,Phil,I’msoscaredshe’sgonnadie.Whatarewegonnado?
Let’snotgiveuphope,Lila,thoughIwishyou’dgiveupthatbottleofJimBeam,Phil.
Oh,comeon,Cecil.Igottohaveafewswigsofthistohelpmedealwithwhat’shappened.

Again, the soldiers didn’t understand a word of what was said, but they felt a kind of identifying with the speaking gods–especially Tesel, Lia, and Fil. They all continued on their way to the shoulders.